


His fault

by Cream_Of_Yeet



Category: Voltron - Fandom, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Blood, Car Accident, Gore, I pulled a Romeo and Juliet kinda, Langst, M/M, Sad Ending, Shatt, Suicide, hhhh, klance, klangst, tw gore, tw suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2019-01-20 04:02:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12424614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cream_Of_Yeet/pseuds/Cream_Of_Yeet
Summary: Lance remembered it vividly. Every single detail of that horrifying day, burned into his memory so he had no choice but to remember. It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t his fault. That’s people tried to tell him; Shiro, Hunk, Pidge, everyone. But Lance couldn’t shake the aching, burning, tearing feeling in his heart that it was, and he loathed himself for it





	His fault

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first klance fic, so I hope you like it!

The day started out like any other summer day for Lance. Nothing at all bad seemed like it was going to happen. His alarm rang, making him groan loudly and raise his arm to hit snooze like he always did. This repeated about three times, before he actually got out of bed. He’d gotten dressed into something light but fashionable, wrinkled, because he had forgotten to hang his laundry up the previous night; a simple tank top and the short shorts he knew made his boyfriend weak in the knees. He spent twenty five minutes in front of the mirror, just doing his makeup. He always spent too long on his eyeliner, he was often told. But, it had to be perfect. He then walked down the cold stairs with bare feet, and into the kitchen, where his boyfriend would be making coffee by now. It was like this every morning. Lance had his routine, and Keith had his. 

Lance pushed himself up onto the counter, sitting and observing Keith, who didn’t seem to have noticed him yet.  
“So, what’s for eatin’?” Lance spoke up, his usual soft grin making its way onto his face. Ever since he and Keith got together, they both smiled a lot more, just seeming generally more happy than they had been. Keith jumped slightly in surprise at the others voice, but his startledness was soon replaced by a frown, and he rolled his eyes.  
“Same as every morning. Nothing. I’m not your maid, and I’m not your mother, so I’m not in charge of making you breakfast.” He stated, and Lance frowned.

“Hey! Don’t gotta be rude about it, mullet!” Lance whined, calling Keith by the old nickname he used for him when they were younger. Keith had lost the mullet immediately in a fire related accident after they got back to earth, but the by then the nickname had already stuck, and there was no way lance would stop calling him that. The red paladin made his way over to the counter, and reached behind Lance, who giggled mischievously at how close Keith’s hand was to his ass. That resulted in a scoff from Keith as he reached around him, and grabbed an orange from the fruit basket Lance had put together oh so creatively when he was bored one day.

Lance watched as Keith used his slender fingers to peel the citrus fruit, watching closer than he usually did. He took a moment to think about Keith’s fingers, then his hands, then his arms and amazing muscles. He thought about how physically strong his boyfriend was, and how despite that he was still rather small. Come to think of it, this was odd. Why was he getting the urge to stare at him even longer? Keith was even giving him a weird look right now for it.  
“What are you staring at..?” Keith questioned, raising an eyebrow at Lance. Lance shook his head quickly. “Nothing!! I just got the urge to stare at you, is all.” He admitted, cheeks tinting pink. Oh well, might as well be honest about it. Keith just proceeded to let out a sigh, shaking his head.  
“My god, Lance. At least you’re being honest about it, but it’s still creepy as hell.” Keith muttered, tossing the orange peels into the trash can. He started picking apart the orange pieces, plopping them into his mouth and eating them one at a time. Lance continued to watch him. Oh, how that mouth did amazing things at night sometimes, if you know what I mean. Lance flushed red in the face. 

“Yeah, well, you’re cute so is it really a surprise that I’m staring?” Lance retorted, flustered. Keith rolled his eyes, turning away to hide the small smile that involuntarily played across his face.  
“Guess not.” Keith muttered, taking his phone out of his pocket and checking his messages. Lance hopped off of the counter, and turned around, opening the cabinet. He grabbed his favorite mug out of the cupboard. It was only his favorite because it was blue, but Keith had given it to him, so it meant a lot. He reached up again, then looked at Keith.  
“Want me to make you some?” He asked, hand hovering over Keith’s own mug. Keith hummed once in question, then looked up and nodded.  
“Huh? yeah, sure, whatever.” He answered, looking back at his phone. Lance grabbed Keith’s red mug out of the cabinet before shutting it. He turned to the coffee maker, which, as he expected, had coffee in it already. Lance liked how Keith would make coffee every morning. It was nice.. except for the fact that Keith only drank black coffee. Lance poured some into his mug, then Keith’s, then went to the fridge to grab creamer. 

“Yknow,” Lance started, scanning the fridge door for any sign of the coffee creamer. “You don’t have to only make black coffee. I get it, that that’s the kind you like but you should really expand your horizons.” He found the bottle, and picked it up, walking over to the counter and leaving the refrigerator door open. Lance kept talking, moving onto another subject now as he prepared his coffee, pouring what seemed like half the bottle into his own mug.

“And that brings up another thing. Maybe we should start trying new things more. That pottery store over on Main Street has classes now, maybe we-” Lance babbled on, and Keith wasn’t really listening. He was perfectly content with how things were, he didn’t feel the need to do any outrageous new things. After all, they had already saved the galaxy more than once. Keith just wanted the rest of their lives to be as normal as possible. He wanted them to live long, calm lives together. After noticing it was still open, Keith rolled his eyes, and walked over, bumping the refrigerator door shut with his hip. The metal was cold against his side. Reaching around Lance, he grabbed his coffee mug, allowing his partner to continue talking as he checked his messages again. One new message from Shiro. He opened the conversation, walking into the dining room to sit down. He read over the message. It was asking if he and Lance wanted to hang out that day. Keith would admit, he did like spending time with Shiro. He hoped lance wanted to as well. So, interrupting his boyfriend, Keith called out. 

“Do you wanna go over to Shiro’s place today?” 

Lance looked over at Keith, before walking over and sitting next to him at the dining table. Lance thought about it for a moment, before nodding. “Yeah, I guess so. ‘S not like we have anything better to do today.” Lance shrugged. Keith nodded. “Alright.” He stated, lifting his mug to take a sip of his coffee. He continued to text Shiro, asking for a time they could come over and such. He got a response quickly. Any time worked. Keith looked back up at lance, who was drinking his coffee.  
“How about now?” He asked, really just wanting to see Shiro as soon as possible. Lance shrugged lightly. “like I said, just, is now okay with Shiro?” He raised an eyebrow at Keith before taking another sip of his hot coffee. Keith shrugged. “Dunno,” He said, “I gotta ask him.” Keith took a sip of his coffee, then sent a message to Shiro asking if now was okay to come over. He set his phone down on the table, just slowly drinking his coffee. 

Suddenly, Lance got an idea, and leaned over, planting a kiss on the red paladins cheek. Keith blushed heavily, and, seeing him blush, a smirk made its way onto Lance’s face. He kissed him again on the cheek, then once on the jaw, then his lips, then his nose, and soon enough he was peppering Keith’s face with kisses. Keith grunted once, squirming. Lance took the opportunity to lightly tickle his partners sides.“Lance, don’t!” Keith squirmed even more, before bursting into a fit of giggles. He was still squirming, trying to push Lance away. “Stop! Lance, don’t!” Keith hated being tickled. He hated involuntarily laughing, it sucked, and did I mention he hated it? Lance backed down, letting go of Keith’s sides. He pressed one more kiss to his lips, before pulling back away. Keith grunted again, scooting his chair further away from lance’s. His phone then vibrated against the table. Keith picked it up, looking at it.

Another message from Shiro. It said yes, now was okay. Keith hummed, nodding absently at it. “Shiro says yeah, we can go now if we want.” He muttered, standing up. Lance said something in agreement, and Keith grabbed his mug, walking back into the kitchen. He poured what was left into the sink, placing the mug on the counter next to it. Lance groaned. “Keith, that’s such a waste!” “I know that.” 

Keith found his shoes in the middle of the floor, then slipped them on. Lance quickly drank the rest of his coffee, before placing the mug next to where Keith placed his own and rushing upstairs to slip his sandals on and grab his phone. Keith retrieved his keys from the table, and started heading outside. There were clouds coming in, it was most likely going to rain later. Once he got outside, Keith opened the garage door, and walked up to his motorcycle. Yeah. They don’t have a car. Keith swung his leg over, and put the key into the ignition, starting it up. His helmet was completely wrecked in a non-driving related accident, so he didn’t have one, but it would be fine. He was careful and never got into accidents. He has never had an accident before, it wasn’t going to happen now. He revved the engine of the bike, edging Lance to get out there. Soon enough, the door slammed, and Lance came running outside, arms trailing behind him in a naruto style fashion. His quiet footsteps got louder, and then the next thing Keith knew, Lance was hopping onto the bike behind him. 

“About time, Lancy Lance.” Keith muttered. Lance pouted. “Hey! I had to fix my makeup, then I had to feed the cat! Sorry I didn’t get out here thirty seconds ago!” Lance held his helmet above his head, about to put it on, but he paused upon seeing Keith’s lack of one. Lance raised an eyebrow. “Are you gonna wear a helmet, Keefers?” He asked, and Keith shook his head. “Nope. It got destroyed, remember?” He stated, and Lance nodded in realization. 

“Just, be safe, alright? We need to get you a new helmet soon, so don’t forget.” He reminded, before sliding his helmet on and wrapping his arms around Keith’s waist. Keith took that as a signal that he was ready to go, so he put his foot on the gas, and started driving. The two rode, and everything was completely alright until they got out more into the country, so a half hour into the hour ride to Shiro's house. The grass was green, and the rain clouds had since gone away, which Keith was secretly grateful for. It sucked riding in the rain. The wind blew refreshingly, blowing Keith’s hair into lances face. The smell of his shampoo stuck out to him, tinging his nose. It smelled like apples, which was kind of ironic. Such a man like Keith using girly apple scented shampoo. Lance giggled slightly, thinking about it. And then his hair got in his mouth. Lance sputtered, overreacting. 

And then they came across the crossroads. They had two choices; the scenic route, or the normal road. Lance personally preferred the scenic route, but Keith liked the normal road as it was quicker. Lance squeezed Keith’s stomach lightly, their signal for ‘slow down,’ or ‘stop.’ And as Keith did so, Lance leaned slightly to the side, letting Keith know to take the scenic route. There was an audible groan from Keith, but he obliged, nodding and turning the bike. Lance grinned. “Thanks, Love you~” Lance called. “What?” Keith called back. Figures he couldn’t hear him. Lance rested his head on Keith’s shoulder, watching the view calmly. This was nice. You wouldn’t expect anything to happen as they turned a sharp corner.  
And then everything went white. Lance found himself screaming out, a blinding pain unlike anything he’d experienced hitting his entire front half. He felt something pierce through him, and he pulled his arms even tighter around Keith, squeezing his eyes shut. And then everything went black. 

Lance found himself waking up on the side of the road, a mix of gravel and grass indenting his skin uncomfortably. His vision was blurry, so much so that he couldn’t tell what was going on in front of him. He hissed as a searing pain ran up the side of his face and neck, and an even worse one in his right arm. It felt like pins and needles coated in alcohol pressing into his open wounds. All senses were working, but just barely, and he gripped at the ground, gravel scratching his hands as he tried to reach out for something, anything.

Keith. 

Where was Keith? Was he alright? Lance hoped, and prayed that he was alright. He wanted him to be fine so badly. Keith was his universe, and if something happened to him, he didn’t know what he would do. He was extremely weak, and every little movement only intensified the pain he felt by a tenfold, but he tried to move as much, as far as he could. He didn’t care about anything but finding Keith. His own anxious heartbeat drowned out his hearing, which was slowly coming back to expose the sirens that blared around him, slowly getting louder. 

Wait, sirens? 

Tears stung his eyes, and he gripped the ground tightly, trying to push himself up onto his elbows. The feeling in his right arm was too much, like the muscles were tearing apart, but at the same time everything was numb. Lance was pushed into a coughing fit that made his lungs feel like they were on fire. Once he pushed himself up onto his knees, Lance was quick to clutch a hand around the forearm of his right arm. His eyes immediately widened, when his hand hit his side instead. He tried again, and yet again nothing. It was strange, he still had feeling in his arm, and it hurt, bad. He clenched his fists, and then looked down at it in shock, to see a terrifying sight. The flesh cut off halfway down his upper arm, tan skin coming to an end and sharply transitioning into nothing but bloody flesh and muscle. 

Lance opened his mouth to scream, but no trace of sound came out as he did so. He wasn’t able to muster up the strength to make any sound. The fat of his arm was tinted red with blood, and bits of white, jagged, broken bone poked scarily out of the flesh. His vision was slowly clearing, everything becoming more clear. And he hated it. There were bits of grass and gravel, small rocks pressing into the wound, and the bone was splintering. He looked quickly around, eyes wide in panic. There was a semi truck overturned only a few feet from where Lance sat, completely destroyed.  
Keith. Keith, he needed to find Keith. His arm wasn’t bleeding too much, which probably was a good thing, but Keith was more important than finding the other part of his arm. 

And then he spotted him. In a heap on the other side of the road, the familiar form of his boyfriend laid limp. The motorcycle was crushed, laying on top of Keith. Lance completely ignored his pain, trying to push himself to his feet. The pain in his legs was almost unbearable as he stood up, but immediately after bringing himself to his feet he sprinted over to Keith. “Keith!!” He pushed the motorcycle off of him, tears stinging at his eyes again. Dropping to his knees, he turned Keith over towards him, trying to use his right arm as well out of habit. He gathered him in his arm. What he saw made him freeze, eyes widening before his tears transitioned into full on sobs. 

Keith.. didn’t even look like Keith anymore. Half of his face was stained red, almost entirely, by his own blood.  
The other half… was gone. There was a gaping hole where his face was supposed to be, skull having been broken so badly it caved in. This was all his fault… Blood dripped from Keith’s head onto lances arm, pooling. It was horrifying. Keith didn’t do anything. He didn’t deserve this.. Lance shifted his eyes from Keith’s face to the rest of his body, his own wracking, shaking with sobs. Keith’s entire abdomen was bleeding profusely, shirt ripped. There was.. no way he was alive. Lance sobbed, leaning over his body.

“Why??” He screamed out, sobbing only intensifying. Why. Why did it have to be Keith? He didn’t deserve this, he didn’t deserve to be dead, he didn’t. This was Lances fault. It was all his fault. If he hadn’t asked to take the scenic route, Keith wouldn’t.. he wouldn’t be dead. Lances sobs turned into keens as the sirens got louder and louder. The next thing he knew, commotion surrounded him. Several pairs of arms pulled him away from his boyfriend’s body, and he screamed out again, trying to fight out of their grip. He kicked, and fought, trying to get them to release him. “No! I need-“ lance sobbed. “I need to be by him!!” He watched as others hurried around Keith, sobbing as they bagged up his body like he was nothing. “I- I need..” Lance sobbed, slowly giving up on trying to escape from their grasp. This was all his fault.. “I need him..”  
Lance was put onto a stretcher, and loaded into the back of an ambulance. And that’s all he could remember before everything went black. 

After the news of Keith’s death got to the others, their lives were shaken. Shiro had a mental breakdown upon hearing the news. It couldn’t be happening. Keith couldn’t be dead, he couldn't be. The Keith Kogane he knew wouldn’t have let himself die in a stupid motorcycle accident. He wouldn’t have. Shiro had sobbed, something nobody had ever seen him do. And it was heartbreaking. Matt had been with Shiro when he found out. He had been brought to tears, and held tightly onto Shiro in an attempt at reassuring him. Hunk was upset. Extremely so. But, at the same time, he was so happy and relieved Lance was okay as well. Pidge dropped off social media for a few weeks, unable to bring herself to even look at her keyboard.

Lance lost his right arm that day. Figuratively, and literally. Lance couldn’t function normally as a human being without Keith, with or without his arm. He still felt it, though. It felt like it was there sometimes, and he would look down to be brought back into the sad reality again. He spent day after day, unable to find the motivation to even leave the house. Most of the time, he would just lay in bed, quiet, staring ahead of him at where Keith used to lay. Even months later, Lance still hadn’t moved any of Keith’s personal items from where they were that day, or even touched them; his jacket still sat on the coat hanger, a pair of his shoes still in the middle of the living room floor. His mug was still sitting next to the sink. Lance couldn’t bring himself to wash it. It stared him in the face on the days he was able to muster enough energy to even go down to the kitchen. Reminded him of everything that happened that day, and the fact that Keith was gone. He would never be able to see his smile again.  
He remembered the accident vividly. Every single detail of that horrifying accident, burned into his memory so he had no choice but to remember. 

Sometimes, at night, he would awake with a start, from dreaming about it, and look towards Keith’s side of the bed. He’d nearly say what a dream he had, and expect Keith to groan and pull him back down. It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t his fault. That’s people tried to tell him; Shiro, Hunk, Pidge, everyone. But Lance couldn’t shake the aching, burning, tearing feeling in his heart that it was, and he loathed himself for it. But, when his friends forced him out of the house, Lance put on a face of fake happiness, trying to act like he had moved on. After a few months, Shiro tried to help Lance get his life back on track. They tried to have a discussion about it. But it didn’t work. The two had ended up screaming at each other.

“You need to move on, Lance! He’s gone, yeah, and we’re all still sad about it, but you-” Shiro had yelled, and Lance had completely exploded. “Don’t even fucking talk about moving on, Shirogane! That’s the last thing you’ve done, believe me! I talk to Matt, Shiro! You haven’t moved on! I’m pretty sure that at this point Matt knows that you were still in love with Keith when he died!!!” Lance had screamed back. Shiros eyes had widened, and he had paused. Lance had known he went too far. They didn’t talk to each other anymore, although Lance still talked to Matt, who had later ended his relationship with Shiro. 

Hunk regularly checked in on Lance, to make sure he was doing alright. Every time was the same. Uneventful. He’d just check on him, make him some food, talk to him for a little while and leave.

Hunk walked through the front door of Lances house, closing it behind him.  
“Hey, Lance! It’s me, Hunk! Just checking on ya! Again...” He called out, then sighed. He didn’t get a response. But then again, he never did. It broke his heart to see his friend like this. Lance was taking Keith’s death in the worst possible way, and Hunk knew it was hard for him to even wake up sometimes. Nothing in the whole house but Lances room had been touched at all since the accident. Hunk slipped his shoes off, and walked down the hallway towards the staircase that lead up to where Lance's room was. “I’m coming up, alright?” He called, just announcing himself, he knew he wouldn’t get a response. Lance couldn’t bring himself to speak most of the time. And, again, it broke his heart.  


Hunk started up the steps, using the handrail. the house was freezing. It figures, since the only bills Lance bothered to pay anymore were the mortgage and the essentials. Hunk guessed heat wasn’t essential. He shivered, and took the last step, turning to walk down another hallway. The floor creaked as he walked. Then he paused once he got to Lances door. “I’m coming in, Buddy, alright?” He called. Once again, getting no response. This was slightly strange, though. Lance tended to just watch tv or something while he sat in his room but today Hunk could hear any noise. Maybe he was sleeping. Yeah. That has to be it. Still, his heart raced as he opened the door. He walked in. And then his heart skipped a beat. He screamed. Lance was in there, alright. He was in front of the television.

Lance had hung himself.


End file.
